I have worked with children, adolescents, their families and couples for over 40 years.
I am married to Sandra my best friend and a loving and wonderful partner. We have a son and two grandchildren. We have had and still are having a happy and lasting relationship and survived and succeeded when:-
1. We accept each other’s differences and uniqueness, to which we were attracted to in the first place.
2. Stop trying to change each other and convince the other to think like you do. “You can be right or in a relationship” Al Turtle. Reduce the negativity of criticism and judgement and stop looking for what is offensive.
3. Stop looking only through the negative lens and look for what is wrong. Look through both lenses being binocular to keep all in perspective.
4. Focus on the “us” in the relationship. The “us” is all those things you do together; the fun, play and laughter, decision making, non-sexual intimacy.
5. Communication - not just talking at or to. Talking with by asking not telling. Listening is paramount to effective communication.
6. Help each other understand what you need and want and otherwise. With understanding comes acceptance even when you disagree.
7. Without validation and acknowledgement love will fade. It is important to be inclusive and transparent with your romantic partner.