A Fawlty Towers-esque farce. Not because of the usual upselling hostage experience. Far worse. With trepidation, I booked my car in for a wheel replacement. Already an extortionate $2200 before labour, I had budgeted for $3000-3500 by the time they "found" other stuff. I took the car in at 7:45am on Monday, for a one day job.

Some time that day, they "run diagnostics” and find a “steering fault” and “shorted actuator” and won’t release the vehicle without replacing them. They send me a new quote, including an optional replacement of all four tires, which were 2 months old. I decline the tire replacement, but suck up the rest, having been told they will not release the car without it. Another $1400, and another day in the shop.

After holding my car for 2 days, they wait until 3pm on Tuesday to tell me my existing tire “isn’t roadworthy” and they won’t put it on the new rim as quoted and requested. In other words, I have to pay them to order and fit a new tire. That is, the tire that they had inspected was roadworthy up until I declined to OPTIONALLY have all four tires replaced.

I sent them a waiver basically taking responsibility for everything up to and including a planetary mass extinction event if they re-fit my 2 month old tire to the new rim, install it, and release the car to me. They agree, and tell me at 4pm to collect my car in 20 minutes. I Uber (at my expense) to them and wait in the "cafe". And I wait. And wait. At 5:40pm, they tell me that after "fitting the tire and new wheel and doing a wheel alignment and road test" (quotation marks are relevant - see later), they heard a "noise from the suspension" so it would be unethical to release the vehicle to me for safety reasons. It is now COB on Tuesday. They say they will prioritise my car the following morning and that I will have it back the next day.

At 2:30pm Wednesday, they tell me my car is ready to collect. At 4pm, I collect the car, and pay my $3,500 invoice which includes (1) 8 "units" of labour for replacement of the wheel - $175, (2) Initialise tire pressure control (which involves pushing a button on the centre console) - $43.94, (3) wheel alignment - $180 and (4) a "complimentary" wash and clean.

When I get home, I open the boot and see a box inside. "Oh" I think; "a gift for all the trouble they have put me through". I open the box and discover inside THE NEW WHEEL RIM THAT I HAVE PAID TO HAVE FITTED.

I have paid $3,500 for a 3-day car wash and a push of a button. They blatantly lied to me about having done work that was not done, and that I had paid for. They told me they had replaced the wheel, done a wheel alignment, and taken the vehicle for a road test after that "work", when the wheel was in the boot of my car. They also refused to release my “death trap” of a vehicle onto an unroadworthy tire on a new rim and with a "rattle" in the suspension, but then happily released the same vehicle onto the cracked rim and the same tire.

I naturally took the car back immediately. On arrival, someone from management shepherded me into an isolated part of the place, presumably so that other customers couldn't hear the conversations that were about to occur. Eventually, another manager arrived and explained that it had all been a "miscommunication". Perhaps this is sales speak for "lies" and "dishonesty", but I had been clearly told that work had been done and I had paid for it, and the work had not been done.

The "solution" I have been offered - for now - is that they replace the tire (about $600 worth) at their expense and don't charge me any further labour. Yet it is now Thursday, I still don't have my car, the work has still not been done, I have wasted at least 5-6 hours of my time on this (so far), I have had to adjust my work schedule (which has cost me a lot of income), and I have had to pay for Ubers back and forth from their establishment. A $600 tire will barely cover the counselling I need to get over the lies and gaslighting I've been through with this lot. Next stop, Fair Trading.

Approximate cost: $3500

Service is poor, service staff are extremely hard to contact and do not always return calls. They seem to be too busy to provide any reasonable customer service.

I had to wait for hours. Service was average.